isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
