Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
