Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
