He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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