new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
