yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
