are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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