I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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