honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
areolas are like halos for boobs.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
