So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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