Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
