I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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