she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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