saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
