Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
