Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
