Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
