I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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