I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
