this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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