four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
