You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
