ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
