We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
