He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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