i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
