Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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