At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
