if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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