Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
