I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
