It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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