last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
