remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
