its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
