i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
worst night to have a conscience
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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