It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
