i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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