He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Houston, we have a blender
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
