Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
