Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
