So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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