Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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