Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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