Grow some girl-balls and come out already
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
