theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
