Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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