Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
