I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
