I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
