I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
