That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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